a critique eh? alright, I'll try.
the colours are very well done, I like the shading, and the lines flow smoothly. don't know why you gave her eyelashes, it feels..... artificial somehow, the design of each character is very well done, you can tell you put in a lot of time and effort. the transclucency of her chest crystal was an interesting choice that paid off, it really feels like it's a part of her body, which is hard to do. the way her hair falls is really attractive, it caught my eye right away, the panty design is good, although I wouldn't have polka dots but that's just me. after that I'd just say a little more detail on the nipples and you're golden.
P.S. bonus to originality for leavanny, I don't see many of that one